Tim Hanchin
20 March 1995
Society calls me dispensable. Because I am unable to use. my legs, I am labeled worthless. I have not honor but embarrassment and shame. As a male, I am supposed to contribute economically to society, but I remain poor and homeless. I lack an identity. I am more of a burden to society than anything else. Somehow this is supposed to be my fault. I lack God's blessing. I am unworthy of society. The world has made these accusations against me my entire life, but even after 30 years of hate my heart tells me otherwise. My heart listens to Jesus.
Life is suffering. I am certainly not the only person who suffers. I see suffering in the eyes of my Christian brothers. It is like a cloud that hangs over and surrounds my family in faith. I have heard the horrid stories of Nero in Rome. He has spark~ an onslaught of anger and oppression against Christians. Nero has used Christ's followers as scapegoats for his own destruction of Rome. He unjustly deceived the Romans by blaming his own fire on Christians in order to justify displacing the population while renovating the overcrowded slums. As a result of this scandal, confessed Christian members were arrested, and many others were convicted. The fire served as an excuse to persecute, humiliate and torture followers of Christ. I have heard the stories of merciless beatings, burnings, and crucifixions by the Romans. For entertainment, Christians are thrown into the coliseums to futilely fight wild beasts,
In addition, I have seen suffering concerning my Jewish background. Many of my Judean brothers have been involved in the deadly revolt against Rome. A few of my friends have traveled to Jerusalem to fight and die in God's war in the name of Jesus the Messiah. They fight in vain as the powerful Roman soldiers manhandle the overmatched Jews. The culmination of the fighting resulted, just recently, in the destruction of the Temple. The massive destruction and slaughter have caused some of my Jewish brothers to lose faith in Christ. This loss of hope is the greatest suffering of all.
I admit that I have questioned the power of Christ. The Messiah is supposed to be a second David who establishes justice and peace among the nations. Yet I look around and see injustice and war. Moreover, I am a paralytic. Mark describes the healing of the paralytic at Capernaum (2:1-12). The paralytic was healed because of his faith. I have faith, yet I remain unable to walk. I want to be healed more than anything else, but I remain dispensable to society.
The question raised by the persecutions, revolts, and my paralysis is the same question the [first] disciples pondered. They witnessed the incredible power of Jesus. They saw Christ cure a demoniac (1:23-28), heal a woman with a hemorrhage (5:25-34), and command the wind and sea (4:35-41). Yet the question was suffering. Why must the Messiah suffer.'? Surely the man who can walk on water (6:47-52) can save himself from certain death by crucifixion. Peter struggled with this dilemma when Jesus asked him, 'who do you say that I am? ' (8:29). Peter's understanding of the Messiah could not comprehend the crucifixion. Jesus responded by telling Peter, "You are not judging by God's standards but by man's!" (8:33) Peter's inability to realize God's standards for tile Messiah led him to deny Jesus after he was arrested (14:66-72). The difference between Peter's standards and God's standards was suffering.
Jesus did not rescue himself from suffering, rather he served through suffering. Mark writes, "The Son of Man also came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (10:45). This realization that the Messiah has miraculous power and still suffers is vi essential to understanding and responding to the world today. The movement from power to suffering is similar to the movement of the blind man receiving partial healing to clear sight (8:22-26). Peter had partial sight until the resurrection gave him true understanding of Jesus the Messiah.
In light of Mark's gospel, I can respond to persecution and oppression with faith, not fear. I can identify with Christ because he suffered just as Christians suffer today. While nailed to the cross Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (15:34). This sense of despair is the same feeling that Christians feel forty years later. The words of Christians today echo Jesus in the garden of Gethsemani. Jesus said, 'My heart is filled with sorrow to the point of death' (14:34). However, God did not abandon His Son. In the end, Christ conquered death and joined his Father in heaven. Similarly, God has not abandoned Christians today. Christ will come again to take his followers to heaven. Then I will no longer be dispensable, for I will find ultimate healing. My response is to pray as Jesus did in the garden that God's will may be done. And this alone is enough to give me the hope to carry on.