THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO CHARLIE BROWN
anonymous

And it came to pass that early in the morning of the last day of the semester, there arose a multitude, smiting their books and wailing.

And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth for the day of the examinations was at hand and they were sore afraid. For they had left unstudied those things that they ought to have studied and had done things which they ought not have done, and there was no help for it.

And there were many abiding in the study halls who had kept watch over their books, but it availeth nothing. Yet some there were who rose smilingly; for they had prepared for themselves the way, and made straight the path of all knowledge. And these wise ones were known to some as "the burners of the midnight oil" and to others they were known as the "curve-lousers."

And the multitude rose and ate a hearty breakfast. And they came to pass, but some passed not, but only passed out. And some repented of their riotous living and bemoaned their fate, but they had not a prayer.

And at the last hour came among them one known as the teacher, she of the diabolical smile and the difficult questions, and passed papers among them, and then went on her way.

And many and varied were the questions asked by the teacher, but still more varied were the answers which were given, for some of her teachings and fallen amongst fertile minds, others had fallen fallow among the fellows, while still others had fallen flat.

And some there were who wrote for an hour; others wrote for two, but some turned away very sorrowful. And of these, many offered up a little "bull" in hopes of pacifying the teacher, for these were the ones who had no prayer. And when they had finished, they gathered up their books and went away quietly, each in his or her own direction, and each one vowing silently in this manner: "I shall not pass this way again."

But it is a long road that has no turning.